Stimulus Plan

I'm just a regular guy waiting for a real government stimulus plan...one in partnership with Red Bull, Starbucks, and Monster Drink.

Victim of Global Warming

I'm just a regular guy who knows that heat makes things expand. Therefore, I am not over weight, I'm a victim of global warming.

Fast Food

I'm just a regular guy who knows they call it "fast food" because it goes to your waist, hips, and thighs faster than regular food.

Technologically Challenged

I'm just a regular guy who recognizes my less than stellar technical abilities. Yesterday I tried to make a phone call with my wallet.

Diet

I'm just a regular guy who tries to improve his diet. I ate a carrot once. Nothing happened!

Criticized

I'm just a regular guy with contemporary advice when you have been criticized. Rather than talking face to face; Twitter his blog and Flickr his Google until he Yahoos an apology.