No "I"

I'm just a regular guy and I've found there is no "I" in "My Dear Janet" unless you disable auto-correct.

Spam

I'm just a regular guy and when I get to heaven [to give an accounting of how I spent my time on earth], I don't want to find out that I spent 10.5 years of my life deleting spam from my eMails.

Tithe

I'm just a regular guy, a preacher, in fact, and I've never been good at sermon titles. I'm particularly not proud of last week's sermon: Tithe or Perish!

Leadership Conference

I'm just a regular guy and I'm disappointed with a leadership conference I went to last week. Everyone attending thought they were in charge.

Leadership

I'm just a regular guy who has found the key to leadership, i. e. getting people to follow you. Just leave a trail of doughnuts.

Monkey Wrench

I'm just a regular guy and recent economic conditions threw a monkey wrench in my retirement plans. Fortunately, I was able to sell the wrench on eBay for $20.00 yesterday.

Dead Diet

I'm just a regular guy and yesterday my diet died. Today, I'm baking a 5-cheese lasagna for the memorial service.