Great Motivational Speaker

I'm just a regular guy and last night, I went to the GREATEST motivational seminar I've ever been to. The speaker stood up and said, "If you're here tonight instead of at home on your sofa, you're already a motivated person and don't need me. Good night, and thanks for coming."

Buckets of Money

I'm just a regular guy and the reason I never made "buckets of money" is the companies I worked for never gave me a bucket.

Foreign Oil

I'm just a regular guy and I've stopped using Italian dressing. I'm trying to reduce America's dependence on foreign oil.

Virus-Free, Super-Fast Computer

I'm just a regular guy and, so far, I've kept my new computer safe, virus-free, and super fast. But one of these days, I'm going to have to plug it in.

Soul Searching

I'm just a regular guy and I need to do a little soul searching this morning. Which is better: Google, Yahoo, or Bing?

Slow Computer

I'm just a regular guy dealing with a very sluggish computer this morning. Must be all the spam and cookies.

Heartburn

I'm just a regular guy and according to the fine print of the Affordable Care Act, your health insurance no longer covers heartburn. That now requires fire insurance.