Fountain

I'm just a regular guy and I say, "Forget the Fountain of Youth. Show me the Fountain of Bacon!"

Deductibles

I'm just a regular guy wondering about how perfectly well I am once I meet my deductibles. 

Playing Doctor

I'm just a regular guy and I enjoyed playing doctor until I was about 10 years old. Then, insurance forms, co-pays, and malpractice suits took away all the fun. 

Blood Pressure

I'm just a regular guy and my doctor just gave me a double dose of bad news: my blood pressure is now higher than my credit score!

Test Results

I'm just a regular guy still questioning this whole Medicare thing. I saw my doctor for a minor issue the other day. After a battery of tests, he came back into the room and said, "Well, Mr. Hill, the test results show you are out of money!"

Medicare Woes

I'm just a regular guy and the more I learn about Medicare, the more skeptical I become. I went to my doctor for a minor procedure. He said, "You can have a general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down."

Aging

I'm just a regular guy reminding you that aging has its advantages. Unfortunately, at my age, I can't remember what they are. 

Wrinkles

I'm just a regular guy and, yesterday, my dear Janet told me that I now have a lot of wrinkles. I said, "They're not wrinkles, they're laughter lines." She said, "Then, something must have been hilariously funny!"

Computer with an Attitude

I'm just a regular guy and I don't know which is worse: a computer with a virus, or a computer with an attitude. This morning I needed information and I said, "Good morning, SIRI." It responded, "Whatever!"