Compliments

I'm just a regular guy waiting for the day when the FDA classifies compliments as an essential nutrient.

Bold and Innovative

I'm just a regular guy trying to find a bold and innovative way to do things the same way I've done them for the past 25 years.

Calorie Burner

I'm just a regular guy wondering which burns the most calories, Twittering, Blogging, or Googling?

Workaholic

I'm just a regular guy suggesting that aside from ulcers, heart attacks, bypass surgery, stints, broken families, and drug and alcohol related problems, being a workaholic never hurt anyone.

Data Encryption

I'm just a regular guy and today I'm implementing new security encryption for all the data on my computer. From now on, I don't have to worry about hackers. I suggest you get it too. I got it really cheap off the Internet. All you need is the egret-say ode-cay!

New Jack Sprat

I'm just a regular guy who thinks we ought to leave well enough alone. I was sitting here at my computer thinking about limericks and rhymes from my youth, and thought if some of them were written today, they'd be awful. Like this: Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no...carbs.

Bachelor's Degree

I'm just a regular guy wondering if my Bachelor's degree was invalidated when I got married.

RLS

I'm just a regular guy reading up on a new medication for RLS - Restless Leg Syndrome. If it works I hope they'll develop something for RTS - Restless Tongue Syndrome.

Pilates

I'm just a regular guy and I went to a Pilates class yesterday. Did I get the shock of my life! When I got there, they were doing exercises. I thought it was about Pie & Lattes!

Garlic and Herbs

I'm just a regular guy working on my cholesterol. Yesterday I read an interesting article how herbs and garlic improve your cholesterol. So I went to CostCo and bought a 10 pound bag of garlic and herb potato chips.

Demon Wrestling

I'm just a regular guy and I might have a better time wrestling my demons if I had a name like Hulk Hogan, Sgt. Slaughter, or John Cena.

Blood Sugar Level

I'm just a regular guy and although my blood sugar level is high, my chocolate level is fine!

2nd Trimester

I'm just a regular guy, and for inspiration for my new diet, I placed a photo of myself on the corner of my computer screen. It was taken when I was thin and had a lot of hair. I think it was during my Mom's second trimester.

Crouton

I'm just a regular guy who thinks that a chocolate brownie looks sort of like a giant crouton, so it's almost a salad.

Liposuction

I'm just a regular guy and I know how liposuction works. I'm wondering if it would help get "It's A Small World After All" from replaying in my head!

Church Lite

I'm just a regular guy who tries to think of new ways to reach our culture. I've thought it might be a good idea to start the first Lite Church: Home of the 7% tithe; Low-Cal(vanism); 7 Commandments (one for each day of the week); 20-minute worship services with a 10 minute sermonette for Christianettes; and offerings taken every other week. Lite Church... Everything You Want in a Church, and LESS!

Marriage is the Best Teacher

I'm just a regular guy who has learned a lot by being married to my dear Janet for 40 years. That's right, marriage is the best teacher. Here are some of the great qualities you learn through marriage: Loyalty, Meekness, Forbearance, Self-restraint, Forgiveness, and others—qualities you'd never need if you remain single.